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Monday, April 9, 2012


Shady Greg, that lovable lug who we all love...who am I kidding? Just because Shady Greg is losing his grip on his all ready shaky sanity and most likely will go postal any day now; I can't say we all love him. Shady Greg is of course, shady. He is also evil,despicable,sneaky,snaky,snarky,snotty, and shit speaking. Loathsome. Terrible. Backstabbing. Two faced. WOW! Sorry,  thought I was done describing Greg and I was just getting started. Smelly. Satanic. Hellish. Mud crawling. Pit loving. Sorry. Get me started and it's hard to stop. Anyhow, Shady Greg is acting crazier every day. As you all know Shady is a salesman. Most sales people expect to see customers on a daily basis. Not Greg. Not any longer. Now when a customer walks into the store (Kitchens and More here in lovely downtown *******,Mi) Greg freaks out. A lady approached Shady yesterday and he nearly jumped through the ceiling, squealing like a little girl. The woman apologized and asked Greg for help and Greg hissed (yes hissed) at her "Lady get away from me you're freaking me the fuck out! And get that snake off your foot before he swallows it!". OK Greg didn't actually say that thing about the snake but he could have. That's how crazy he is acting. It's like he doesn't see customers anymore even when they are right in front of him. Then when they speak to him he jumps and shrieks and generally just freaks out. He got so bad on Saturday that he wound up sitting in the corner of the sales floor, knees pulled up to his chest, cigarette in mouth (Greg had never smoked in his life. Now he usually has 3 or 4 going on the floor at once! Totally against the rules and all social decorum) mumbling about bats and giraffes (who the fuck ever puts bats and giraffes together except a fucking wacko?). Anyhow I figure Shady is going to walk into work any day now and just start blasting. I would like to get on his good side so that I don't get shot but it's probably too late for that. Besides, how do you get on the good side of a chain smoking, sale stealing, animal hallucinating, sweat dripping, snake hissing, recognizable wacko hiding in corners? Approach from the front, slowly, wearing subdued colors and offering Marlboro's? What the Hell. Worth a shot. A try.. worth a try!

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