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Thursday, July 10, 2014

While Brazil Burns Netherlands Goes Home!

Argentina, you have my sincerest thanks. The Fucking Netherlanders have been dismissed. I am grateful. You played a BRILLIANT game of "Futbol", Argentina. At least I was told you did. I didn't watch. I mean, 90 minutes of game time and still no score. Overtime? No score. So you won by shoot out. Great. Really. I am glad you won because I hate the Netherlanders. Creepy little Bastards! But I didn't watch the game. I watched paint dry instead.- I am curious now that Team Brazil choked on a Pressure Dog- Is the Brazilian Gov't pleased with its 14 billion dollars of public funds going to all those now useless stadiums? Probably. Soccer Rules!- In other news, the 34 year old Potter kid now has a Honey of a Boo Boo on his cheek. Great. Really.- @ midnight Rules! No you shut up Rules! Out.

Monday, June 30, 2014

THE FUCKING NETHERLANDS!?!

Yes, it is I, the fabulous Mr. Jimmy Keith, back from the dead for a quick word of "Hello". Hi (quicker than hello). This blog, open to everybody with no boundaries to race, religion, or Facebook status has recently crossed a line! Yes, it seems that during my absence a few of the SCUM from the NETHERLANDS decided to take a look at what is written here. My blog is open to everyone EXCEPT the "people" of the NETHERLANDS. OK. I also admit that I discourage most French from visiting these pages. Also, I am not overly fond of many Canadians (Red Green chief among them. Feed Red Green to the penguins and Canada might be bearable). North Koreans. I dislike North Koreans. Well, at least their little gnome leader. OK. I dislike a lot of stupid Fucks too numerous to name, however, I never attempted to close my blog to them. But Netherlanders from fucking NETHERLANDS? Too much to take! Rename your country INDECENT LANDS. Let's be more up front about it and that would be a starting point. Also, stop hiding from the rest of us. You only come out every four years for the World Cup and then go back to your infected NETHERLANDS for more squirming and stuff ( who the hell knows what you do down there). It all makes you seem very untrustworthy and squirmy and stuff. Now go away until you meet my demands!

Monday, February 3, 2014

SHADY GREG HAS LAST LAUGH!

The EVIL Shady Greg may just have the last laugh. I, your most trusted reporter, have been captured by The Doom Bringers. I secretly write this message from the back of a horse drawn cart, bound and cramped in a tiny steel cage as we bounce and bump to my impending imprisonment. I beg you, my faithful readers, to stay strong in my absence (and continue to mock Canadians for me. Also, continue to occasionally curse the French. Thanks.) I can't believe this is the end of discussing the Satanism of cartoons or mentioning KELLY MONACO NUDE WITH PUBIC HAIR SMILE! (or something along those lines). Perhaps we shall meet again. For now, adieu. Wait. Scratch that. That sounded French ( even tho adieu is a Swiss word meaning "later Heidy"). Until next time - Take care.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

BOTSWANA TELLS MALAWI TO FUCK OFF!

Apparently, Botswana has not been overly pleased with all of the attention bestowed upon Malawi since Malawi came to the World's attention by joining my blog (Yes, the entire province of Malawi or state or country or whatever the fuck it is, has joined my blog. They simply have not gotten around to updating their profile or anything).Botswana , in an apparent move of jealous rage has emailed me with an announcement that they too are a country or city or at least a semi-large gathering of similarly dressed people who would like the world to take notice. Now, I do not wish to set a bad precedent by leading all you crazies out there to believe that by emailing me I will use the overwhelming popularity of my blog to push forth whatever fucked up agenda you may have. That is not the case! However, Botswana asked me nicely. Also I get a huge kick out of saying their name. BOTSWANA! BOTSWANA! BOTSWANA! Isn't that fun? Try saying this with a few Sam Adams in your system: "Botswana Malawi Malawi Botsie Australia Botswana Malawi ". Actually, that was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Do you want to know what's really weird? If say Botswana in french it is still pronounced "bots-w-an-a" because the stupid french (I refuse to capitalize french) don't have a word for bots or w! Isn't that Fucked Up? Stupid french.