Saturday, August 25, 2012

SORRY I HAVE NOT POSTED IN A WHILE BUT I HAVE BEEN HIDING FROM PISSED OFF ZAMBIANS

New posts are on the way, but I have not been able to type in comfort because feather covered spears with hand carved stone points keep zipping by my head. Apparently, a hit squad from Zambia has been dispatched to "Gut me like a rhino" for what was interpreted to be sarcastic comments in my previous post. For the record, I was not being sarcastic! I meant "try to stay cool" in a wide variety of positive ways, not as any sort of commentary on Zambia's frequent use of illegal "sweatshops" to manufacture plastic monkey paw or whatever Zambia may manufacture out side of dirt. I love Freakin' Zambia, OK? So could the tribal leader of Zambia (or whoever is in charge over there. The witch doctor extraordinaire, maybe?) please call off  the hit squad?

Saturday, August 11, 2012

WELCOME TO MY ZAMBIAN BRETHREN!

I would like to extend my hand in friendship to all my new readers from  ZAMBIA! I am almost positive that Zambia lies (or sits) somewhere in Africa. Either the country or the continent as they are both spelled the same so I don't know which is which (although I do know one is bigger than the other). But whatever, it doesn't really matter as the big news is I have gained a huge new readership in Zambia! And I vow, here and now, to do my best not to lose or upset that readership. In fact, you will find , I am very Pro Zambia. Unless, of course,  Zambia is one of those countries that is run by a freakin' people eating madman whose into pet torture or giraffe beating, or some sort of insane military government or one of those small dicked but ego trippin' mirrored sunglasses wearing dictators or some other horrible thing. Then I would not be Pro Zambia at all, but rather very Anti Zambia while being very Pro Free Zambia and shit, ya know? My point being I love the Zambian people if not always the Zambian government...Unless the Zambian government is run by some sort of Mother Theresa type, then I would say "Long live Zambian Theresa", and stuff. Anyhow, any true Zambia loving Zambian will enjoy reading this blog as it will, from here on out, contain lots of Zambian folklore and stuff like that one about the lion who ate two Jews and a Christian and then walked into a hut bar or bar hut or whatever and the hut tender said "So how do you feel about Muslims?" or something like that. Hysterical! Anyway, have a great day and try to stay cool.