Saturday, April 20, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
CUT THROAT PHANTOM-Y GUY! That is Shady Greg's new "CRIME FIGHTING TYPE GOOD GUY" who apparently is also "LIKE RICH AND SUAVE-Y AND HANDSOME-Y AND STUFF" , and according to the Shady One is also "LIKE TOTALLY LETHAL WITH KNIVES AND NUMCHUCKS AND OTHER FORMS OF CHINESE DANGER-Y TYPE POINTY THINGS!" . For all my long term readers you are all aware that Shady Greg is not only an idiot, but also a psychotic nut job menace to all good people everywhere he roams.nbsp;Unfortunately for all, Shady Greg thinks he is perfectly sane and rational and not in need of the Thorazine we all prefer him slaved to. It is because of his completely unhinged, delusional view of the world that it is impossible to get him to understand that simply changing into a purple spandex spank suit and calling himself CUT THROAT PHANTOM-Y GUY! (yes the fucking exclamation point is part of his name) does not immediately make him "Rich and Handsome and lethal". Shady does not grasp this. It's like trying to explain to a Superman obsessed 5 year old that using a bath towel as a cape is not going to allow you to jump from the roof and fly. Shady honestly (first time I've ever combined Shady and Honestly) thinks that his "SUPER COOL KICK-ASS COSTUME" will allow him to fight crime with impunity and immunity. He even went so far as to point out to me the "SUPER COOL AND FEAR INSPIRING LOGO" on the chest of his costume. The logo itself will send bad guys running and make them think twice about being bad ever again (his words not mine). The logo, for those of you who are curious, is a silhouette of a Sock Monkey holding (I swear to god!) a sharpened, pointy Chinese banana. How anyone is supposed to know it's a Chinese banana and not just a banana is beyond me. As is the significance of the banana being Chinese. Or how anyone could tell it's sharpened and pointy instead of just pointy. Why a banana at all? Why not a sharp pointy stick? A huge Rambo type knife? Why the fuck a Sock Monkey? Who Knows? Not Shady Greg. He's a fucking idiot! All I got from Greg is that the silhouette makes him mysterious and shit. Also Greg would like his long lost friend, Cold Cash Sam, to get in touch. Warning Sam: Shady wants a pink costumed sidekick called MARSUPIAL MENACE DUDE! (The marsupial one would apparently have a "Killer Kangaroo Pouch of Pulchritude"). [by the way, I am aware that pulchritude means physical beauty.]
Monday, April 1, 2013
Perhaps the funniest April Fool's joke ever played! Shady Greg, standing in front of a mirror wearing a wig and a fake mustache, conned himself into believing that he is actually a man! To be a bit more precise Shady actually conned himself into believing that he is Manly and not actually a squirming, vomitus slim slab of slimy squid shit. What a riot! His much more masculine wife finally snapped him out of it and Shady slipped back into self loathing quietly.