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Saturday, April 14, 2012

THE REAL GREG

Greg is a fucking retard who plays with cardboard boxes at work pretending that they are accordions, hamburgers, binoculars or a dozen other things retarded 50 year olds find amusing. So all this time we thought he was shady we were wrong. I mean he is shady but he is mostly retarded. Greg see's a young chick walk by and he says "Sure she has saddlebags but I'd fuck her horse!". So he is a sick retard as well. Greg farts and says "Sorry just thinking out loud". Every time! Greg puts VISINE on his dick. Why? So he never gets a "Red Eye". Fucking retard. Every time he burps he says "Tastes like chicken". Every time! If he has to take a dump he announces "Hey it's time to go drop the kids off at the pool" and if he needs to pee he announces "Time to salt the slug and watch it shrivel" which doesn't even make sense except for the FACT that he's a fuckin' retard! Greg opened up a stapler and told those of us unfortunate enough to be trapped on the floor with him that it was a stapler puppet. "Would you like to talk to my stapler?" he asked me. I growled that he should leave me the fuck alone before I snapped his neck. The moron stuck the stapler in my face and sang in some sort of faggy Kermit voice "Lookie Lookie Lookie a bad mood gets no cookie cookie cookie". I stuffed Greg  and his puppet (Bitey) into a dryer. A minute later a strangled faggy Kermit voice from inside the dryer sang "Nobody understands the trouble I've seen..." I turned the dryer on and walked away.
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