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Saturday, January 21, 2012


People were up and moving. Voices carried all around. Life was running. Things were normal. Except that everything was slower, quieter, mundane and mostly redundant. The deep dark shadow of raging boredom began to rise and with it came not only the yawns but the incredibly dumb jokes and stupid behaviors of the terminally bored.
   Fred was among the bored. He told himself that he didn't mind another boring day because boring was safe. Boring was expected and meant life was sane. Not today. No this was not safe, normal boredom. This was insane raging boredom. The kind of boredom that seeps into the brain and takes over. The kind of boredom that takes a dull coward like Fred and turns him into a cross eyed giggling lunatic of shameful ignorance towards accepted social convention. And it did.
   As Fred stood rooted to the same spot in a sort of stupor, not really aware of his surroundings due to the thick, choking boredom of his day he began to make up new lyrics to old favorites. He sang these to himself and provided small inner smiles to his drifting soul. Harmless entertainment. But as the boredom grew silly new lyrics to old favorites lost some shine and Fred's mind wandered farther into distant corners where dark things sleep oh so lightly.
   What would old Sister Eunice look like naked? Naked and reverse cowboy humping a tattooed black man on a filthy sweaty bed?-"Where the Hell did that come from?" Fred thought with a shiver: instantly back in the real world. Fred's long ignored manhood quivered briefly. Fred, scared silly by the quiver and what it might mean , announced to no one in particular " I must need the bathroom. Yes. Yes. I have to pee!". Fred then walked as quickly as his dishonarable semi-erect unit would allow. Upon his arrival to the sink he splashed cold water on his face and thought that it was all just a horrible daydream. It was over and Fred promised himself he would never think of old Sister Eunice again unless it purely reverential. Fred walked back to his same spot on the sales floor and quickly fell back into that same, damn near drooling stupor.
   The deep dark shadow of raging boredom smiled and savored the moment before its next strike.

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