Little Billy Devlin the cute and precocious seven year old boy from down the block may not die after all. Billy, as most of you know, has been in critical condition ever since he choked on a handful of popcorn which led to his falling on a chewy dog toy which lodged in his spleen. Sadly, the chewy dog toy belonged to Biscuit, a beautiful little pug who had died two years previously. Billy had kept the saliva ravaged chew toy for sentimental reasons probably because he felt partly responsible for Biscuits' untimely death. Billy, in a moment of reckless abandon and childish humor, accidentally blew up Biscuit in the microwave (27 minutes on high defrost is all it took).
Anyhow, the good doctors at Providence Irrelevant are reporting wonderful progress on Billys' recovery. Only last week Billy was still blue and non-responsive. This week Billy is off white and non-responsive! Way to go Billy.
Of course this is not the first time little Billy has choked on popcorn. Three years ago Billy choked to death on a handful of jiffy pop. This time he did not die but he could have! Jeffery Rotzenheimer President of P.A.P.A. (parents against popcorn abuse) has said that over seven thousand little Billy Devlins' die from popcorn each year. Oddly enough most William Devlin's are unaffected unless caramel corn is involved.