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Thursday, June 20, 2013

WELCOME TO ALL MY LATVIAN READERS!

While I have always been a ridicously popular blogger in Europe, it has only been recently that Latvia has caught on to my AWESOMENESS. I am grateful that the Latvian people have finally figured out that my FANTASTIC sense of humor is very much in step with the slightly less fantastic Latvian sense of humor yet better than the morbid and sophmoric sense of humor of the Estonians (those fucking Estonians...). I must say I have always thought it amusing that the National Language of Latvia is Latvian. The minority language of Latvia is Latgalian. And a Latvian walking around with a fat wallet means he has a pocket full of Lats. Seriously? Your Latvian money is called Lats? Do you people "3rd person" much? - "Hello. I am Latty the Latvian from Latvia with a wallet full of Lats." becomes "Latty don't play that! Latty FAT wid (sic) Lats!". Even the minority language of Latgalian came from the indigenous Latvian tribe called the LATGALIANS. It's like only we Americans, the Chinese, the Mexicans and a small handful of others that speak a language not named after our country. Of course, the true Fuck ups would be the Canadiens. They speak English, French, Stupid, and Stupid Canadien (even worse than those fucking Estonians). Oh yeah, Canadiens also speak a hybrid mix of ancient Chinese Secret dialects known as "Dumb so Young" used mostly when discussing getting stains out of clothing. Anyhow, I say welcome to all my new Latvian Friends!

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