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Monday, June 10, 2013


Shady Greg, a man so low he makes a Dung Beetle look classy, has sunk even lower. As most of you know Shady left the Appliance Department here at Kitchen's and More for the vacuum area (it is neither capitalized nor a department. Merely a vague area in which lost sales souls wander. Greg is very much at home). Recently, the vacuum area expanded slightly with the addition of fans and microwaves and humidifiers (all the cheap shit the Appliance Department Sales Force refuses to dirty our hands with). The Shady One couldn't bother himself with learning anything at all about the new products he sells. His workmates like the Fabulous Ricky Ricardo (yes that's his real name. Oddly, he is French) have studied their materials and are experts at explaining each item. Shady just makes shit up. He is best (meaning at his worst) with senior citizens. Shady was telling his OWN 97 yr old GRANDMOTHER that the convection microwave she was looking at doubles as a house fan and a humidifier but does not clean floors, however if she just bought the $600 Dyson vacuum she would have the best vacuum/humidifier/fan/ microwave on the planet! Lies flow forth from Greg like clumpy brown water flows through the sewer. Also, on the disgusting side, Shady had stated that he wanted to be a better man. His solution? He now collects used condoms. Why? So he can share a 'Snowball" with all of America.

1 comment:

  1. Shady would like to point out to his millions of fans that he left the Appliance Department for an area that both " Blows and Sucks!"