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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

THE CHINESE HAVE STOPPED READING MY BLOG!

OK, normally I don't care what the Chinese people do to amuse themselves: Build walls, write fortunes, re-engineer chopsticks, whatever. Recently however, I've noticed a sharp decrease in chinese readership. Like no Chineses readership. I don't think a Chinamen (or China Doll. I'm not sexist) has visited my site in at least three months. What gives? Then it dawned on me. I've stopped releasing TOP SECRET MILITARY SECRETS AND STUFF! So in an attempt to win back some Chinese readership, which ensures free egg rolls arriving at my door, I've decided to once again release TOP SECRET MILITARY SECRETS AND STUFF! I know betraying my country is horrible and wrong and everything, but it is the "in" thing to do these days. So here goes: AMERICA OWNS LOTSA BOMBS. SOME OF THEM ARE NU-CLEAR AND STUFF! Also, AMERICA is constantly working on NEW EVEN DEADLIER WEAPONS AND STUFF! And while this may come as a shock to some of you AMERICA TESTS NEW WEAPONS almost DAILY! Also, while America has a fairly high population of Chinese people (dancers, acrobats, cooks, gymnasts, Dry Cleaners [1hr], cooks, and even gymnasts) there are still a lot of Americans who feel we should use TOP SECRET MILITARY SECRET WEAPONS WITH STEALTH TECHNOLOGY AND STUFF AGAINST CHINA NOW! This could wipe out our debt sooner rather than later and stuff. I, for one will propogate this type of thinking if I don't start seeing free egg rolls arrive at my door again! Also, some Dim Sun. That's GOOD shit! Thank you.

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