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Friday, May 31, 2013


   Little Bobby Dugan, an older than his years nine year old smart ass, was upstairs getting dressesd for a Church Dinner he didn't want to attend. Bobby had been given an hour to get ready and it was all ready 5 minutes passed with his pants and shoes still to go. "Bobby! Come on!" his mother yelled from the bottom of the stairs. With no response Mrs Dugan gathered in a lung full of air and yelled even louder, "Come on Bobby! Now! COME! ON!". Little Bobby stuck his head around the corner and yelled back "I'm Coming! I'm Coming!" and under his breath he added "in my pants!". Suddenly, balloons dropped from the ceiling as sirens and whistles went off. Confetti and streamers shot down the stairwell and a huge brass band began to play FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW. Ryan Seacrest burst thru the front door carrying a giant cardboard check made out for ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Ryan grabbed Mrs Dugan and shouted over the music "MRS DUGAN! Your son just made the ONE BILLIONTH "coming in my pants joke! How does it feel?" Mrs Dugan, flustered and overwhelmed, stammered out a weak "what?" while Little Bobby Dugan, extremely red faced, came flying down the stairs shouting "Don't listen to him mom. I don't even know what that comment would mean!". Ryan Seacrest chuckeled and said "It's OK Bobby-Boy! I would  have said it myself. How does it feel to be a nine year old millionaire?" Mrs Dugan was gathering herself, clutching the railing for support she grabbed Bobby's shoulder and asked "Where did you learn to speak like that? Don't look away! Did that loser Timmy from down the street teach you such filth? Answer me, Damn it!" "Mom, forget that for now. I just won us a million dollars!" "A MILLION DOLLARS BECAUSE YOU KNOW ABOUT SATAN"S SALIVA! I WILL HAVE NONE OF IT!".  The band stopped playing, the last of the confetti fell, and a dejected Ryan Seacrest was shown the door. Poor Little Bobby had his mouth washed out with IRISH SPRINGS and still had to attend the dinner.---The point of this little tale? Coming in my pants jokes are funny but watch out because Ryan Seacrest is the DEVIL!

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