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Thursday, May 23, 2013


Shady Greg, the worlds formost purveyor of cartoon porn, has just bought a nude Kelli Pickler painting. Dear sweet Southern Belle Kelli ( most likely tainted tattooed trailer trash, but so what?) did not actually pose nude for this painting. Shady is good friends with that dude who painted a topless Bea Arthur that Bea Arthur never posed for.  Shady begged him for a fully nude Kelli Pickler portrait to hang next to his Kelly Monaco eating a corn dog topless in the rain portrait (done in ballpoint. Greg spent $80 bucks on it!). So the dude drew a big busted stick figure, on a napkin, using a Mocha colored crayon (fucking mocha! Idiot.) he added a mid level scribble for bush and Boner popping Shady handed over his $1.57 bus fare for it. Shady actually brought the deranged art into work with him the next day and showed us all. " Look at Kelli's bush!" Shady excitedly repeated over and over while pointing at the scribble. I said to Shady that at least he didn't commission a nude Zendaya drawing and with a look of indignation that would wither a pole cat at a barn dance (?) Greg hissed " I never accept nude artwork of a subject younger than seventeen! I do however have a picture of Shirley Temple in fishnets. Oh come on! She's at least 80 now!"

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