SHADY GREG SKIPS TOWN! TOWN CELEBRATES!

Shady Greg has skipped town! This joyous statement made thousands of Townies smile and pop open the champagne. Unfortunately, we came to find out we were free of Greg for a limited time only. Shady Greg was supposed to work on Tuesday. He decided to stay home and file his toes. The last second replacement for Shady at work was a brownish little troll with a speech impediment. I had to work on Tuesday as well. I, of course, showed up for work and was greeted with what sounded like a helium balloon farting. Apparently, that is the sound brownish trolls make when greeting. I have never been a fan of Shady Greg and his slimy ways, however, brownish trolls are disgusting and annoying. I was stuck with the worse of two Evils. The brownish troll spent most of the afternoon perched on a Maytag sniffing his fingers except when a human came within ten yards. Then the mud lover would screech "BEBACK! BEBACK! Mine! Mine!" and leap from his perch flapping its spindly arm type things while wailing for "Man-ger apruvole" or something. During a long stretch of inaction I stupidly asked the brownish troll where Greg was. The troll took one long last sniff of a rectum coated finger and said "Shady gone gone Shady eess". A deranged passerby overheard this and took it to mean that Shady Greg had skipped town. That rumour caused the impromptu parade down Main street. For that I am sorry but if the Shady One would only show up for work when he is supposed to we wouldn't have brownish little trolls spreading rumours to begin with.