Tuesday, March 20, 2012
SHADY GREG DESERTS CO-WORKERS BECAUSE OF "SORE FEET"
Shady Greg, the shadiest shiteater shopping schlock today has topped himself for shady shit. The Gregster (his latest self nickname) was scheduled to close at work but he had the opportunity to scam seniors out of their pension funds with his best friend (BoBo the Wonder Dog - as seen on Miracle Network Television) and immediately began scheming on how to leave work early. He first told management that his glands were over active. That merely grossed people out and he was told to schedule a doctors appointment A.S.A.P. So the Shady One went back to the drawing board and came up with (after much deliberation. no one ever suggested extreme intelligence on his part) that he was suffering from sore feet. Yes, at a job where everyone is on their feet all day, The Gregger (another self nickname. he's troubled) decided he should be sent home early because of sore feet. An appliance salesmen complaining of sore feet is akin to a bus driver complaining of a sore ass. It comes with the territory. But not for Shady Greg. No! No! Shady thinks his creepy callused fungus infested feet are somehow special. Actually, he thinks his feet are special because he has webbed toes. Only every other toe is webbed which is really odd. Also the second toe on each foot is ridiculously long giving Greg the ability to hang upside down. Freaky! Not "special". Freaky! Anyhow, Shadys' management buddy, the Downes Syndrome looking but not having, Jovial John sent him home. I was pissed.