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Friday, March 30, 2012

JOVIAL JOHN ASKS FOR CORRECTIONS!

Jovial John, the upbeat mongoloid manager, has asked yours truly to please make some corrections to erroneous information that he feels has portrayed him unfairly on this very website. Being forthright, honest, and proud of the integrity of this blog, I immediately agreed to clear up any misconceptions I may have placed in the minds of my readers. First, John has asked that I clear the air on his "jovialness". He feels the word jovial is not accurate. Gay would be a better word. Not in the homosexual way but in the Fred Flinstone (who he resembles) gay old time way. So in keeping with this request I shall only refer to him as Gay John from here on out (except for the rare occasions when Cocksucker would work better). Secondly, Gay John does not feel he looks like he has Downes Syndrome. Perhaps that was a poor descriptive choice on my part. As noted, he does resemble Fred Flinstone but only slightly. GJ (Gay John) looks more like 1/4 Yogi Berra mixed with Fred Flinstones' face on Yogi Bears ass with a dash of Pillsbury Dough Boy spliced with the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man swirled with the old school charm of the banjo player form Deliverance and Will Ferrels chin. Hopefully, this is a much better, more accurate, and on target description of Gay John than was previously provided. Thirdly, Gay John felt insulted when I wrote that the tuba section is where band sends anyone to stupid for kazoo. Apparently, most marching bands do not actually utilize kazoo players and even if they did they would not, automatically, be considered any smarter than the average tuba player. In fact, many marching band tuba players grow up and become useful members of society (please do not ask for examples as I have none. Though the law of averages dictates that there must be one). Fourthly, Gay John wants it known by all that he is in a wonderful, loving relationship with an extraordinary woman who loves him mind, body and soul. For those of you who think I am about to make a snarky comment on what kind of woman would love the Gay One you are wrong. I firmly believe John is deserving of a fantastic relationship with a loving, good hearted woman and I am ecstatic that he feels he has found one. I am also positive that in 16 years when she makes parole they will be forever happy together.

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