Tuesday, March 13, 2012
THE PUBIC HAIR ON THE CHEESECAKE (a shady greg story)
Things can get kind of slow here in the appliance department at Kitchens and More. Sometimes too slow. For instance, just the other day somebodys' wife baked up a giant tray of cheesecake and told her husband to bring it in to his cronies at work. He did. We were all grateful and enjoyed the camaraderie of sharing the cheesecake and trading stories. It helped break up an otherwise slow day;. but as is common in life, all good things come to pass. We got down to the last piece of cheesecake and their was a bit of discussion as to who actually deserved the last piece. Sam felt it should be his for being the high salesman for the day. Sweet Ruby thought it should be hers for being the only woman. Adam thought it should be his for being the tallest. Tom thought it should be his for being the roundest. All semi-valid reasons for a bunch of bored, non thinking zombies waiting for the day to end. I suggested we draw straws, short straw wins. All agreed and the drawing of the straws commenced. Jimmie won. When Jimmie went to claim his prize I noticed a deranged grin on the weak chin of Shady Greg. A split second before the last slice of cheesecake hit Jimmies palate Ruby screamed "OMYGAWD! A SHORT AND CURLIE!". Jimmie threw the cheesecake back in the tray and barely kept from barfing. We all disgustedly stared at the contaminated slice. Jimmie stated the obvious. "Man, that's FUCKED up!" he said. Adam said he had looked at every piece earlier, to choose the best, and that none of them had pubic hairs upon the surface. So the question was, who would be sick minded enough to plant a pubic hair on community cake simply to guarantee the last slice for themselves? The only answer agreed by all was, of course, Shady Greg. When confronted with this hypothesis the Shady one smirked like a pooh flinging chimpanzee and said "Yes I put my ball warmer on the cake! I also made the gatorade but due to my high blood sugar no one noticed!". We all threw up and then kicked Greg in the sack house.