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Friday, September 13, 2013

OK THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS!

Now, I'm PISSED! I, Jimmy Keith (The Fabulous One and Only), left the Ann Arbor Kitchens and More and so many of my beloved co-workers in order to escape. Escape? Yes. I needed to get the Fuck away from Shady Greg and his twisted, disgusting way! At incredible personal expense I have relocated to the beautiful Novi area (even the homeless wear Izod), I have started over at a new store (the Novi Kitchens & More which is slightly larger, has fewer high-on customers, and is two floors meaning finding a manager is now as likely as Dear Sweet Woobie shouting "Jager' shots on me!"). Anyhow, I am pissed (PISSED!) because stupid Fuck Shady followed me here! You read that correctly.  Shady Fucking Greg is now in Novi! Understand me. The DumbAss does not work here, he is AWOL from Ann Arbor, he just lives to torment me. On my second day here I noticed a tall, shadowy figure lurking around  the upright freezers who would consistently dash towards abandoned Portrait Studio upon my approach. This gangly, uncordinated creature left a greenish haze in it's wake (a living being unto itself) it was the Haze that attacked my senses, scrambling my brain; leaving me disoriented and feeling vomitus from the gut wrenching stink of unwashed THOR underwear and vinegar balls. Immediately, I thought to my woozy self " Damn! That STANK! It's a Shady STANK!"  Then I passed out. ----- TO BE CONTINUED

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