JEALOUS SHADY GREG ADMITS ENVY FOR ALL ATTENTION PAID TO FRIEND GAY DEEP THROAT JOHN AND APOLOGISE'S FOR SPREADING DEATH RUMOR ABOUT GAY JOHN WHICH INVOLVED A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF ICE SKATES AND POISONOUS SNAKES AND A CHER IMPERSONATOR WHO SINGS MINELLI IN CLOGS AND SHADY SWEARS HE WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN AND IS ACTUALLY HAPPY FOR THE GAY ONE BEING BACK IN THE LIMELIGHT AND WISHES HIM ALL THE BEST AND STUFF!

Considering the size of the headline there really is no point to writing anything else. Oh! Gay Deep Throat John, if he really is still alive, will probably change his name back to Gay John or DT John as a courtesy to all writers everywhere who tire of typing Gay Deep Throat John over and over. Obviously, I'm only guessing at the name change. Also allow me to add Oh! Oh! Kelly Monaco, wafer thin dancing druggie, is reportedly interested in making a mini-series based on the odd fellowship of Shady Greg and his little, happy (gay) pal Gay Deep Throat John. Gossip overheard at the ice skating rink (I wasn't at the ice skating rink. I simply heard gossip that came from the ice skating rink) states that Ms. Monaco would not only produce the mini-series, but also tackle the role of Shady Greg's Zombie Cock.