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Saturday, August 17, 2013

GAY JOHN IS BACK! IS NOW GO-FER BITCH JOHN!

Gay John has returned to Kitchens and More! Gone for more then a year, The Gay One quietly slipped back in by climbing through the garbage shute and hiding out in the storage room for a week. When he was discovered sleeping on the floor of new ASM Boisterous Bob's office (in a pile of Boisterous Bob's hair re-growth pamphlets using some of Boisterous Bob's hair dye products as a pillow) a new friendship was formed. Gay John, when asked where he has been for the past year, would only say he has become very familiar with the Mens Room of the Rest Area on I-75 just North of Brighton. Anyhow, since Gay John was presumed dead his old job had long since been filled by a retarded monkey - And there is no way we are getting rid of the monkey, he is Twice as efficient as John ever was! But fear not faithful readers, Gay John is once again employed by Kitchens and More. Only now his name is Go-fer Bitch Jonnie because he has become Boisterous Bob's little pet n fetchit. Yesterday B.B. was hungry so Go-fer Bitch Jonnie ran (literally. He's too stupid to drive) to WENDYS and bought B.B. 2 orders of spicy nuggets, ran them back to B.B. and proceeded to hand feed him while adding his own "special sauce". Later in the day B.B. got bored and requested Go-fer Bitch to dance for him. Sickeningly, Jonnie jumped up on a register desk and began the GAYEST quivering dance steps ever performed before God or Man. Jonnie had his eyes closed, biting his lower lip, while he swiveled his hips and shook his extra 20 lbs. of semi digested junkfood like a deranged Boo Boo Bear on acid attempting to seduce a gold chain clad Ranger Rick with gelled hair. It was absolutely disgraceful. Our new GM, Tubby Red, thinks their relationship is "cute", "normal" and somehow "good for morale". Tubby Red also thinks lesbians are just "women who love Home Depot".

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