Friday, November 30, 2012
WELCOME TO ALL MY NEW ISRAELI FRIENDS!
Hey Ho! Now this is awesome! This blog, so long ignored by The Chosen People, has finally been embraced by my fellow Israelites! I am incredibly happy about this. I have ... OK maybe we should back up a minute and shine the light of clarification on something. When I said "my fellow Israelites" some of you may have construed that to mean that I was born in Israel, or that, perhaps, I reside there now. No. Matter of fact I have never even visited Israel. I did once watch a Travel Channel documentary about Israel. Well, not the whole documentary. It was very long. Not to mean boring; just very long. Like two hours or something. With NO nudity. There were a few helicopter explosions and shit, but NO TITS! I can't be expected to sit still for two whole hours without some form of objectifying of women. I don't want to sound sexist or anything, but I was weaned on CADDYSHACK and ANIMAL HOUSE and BLACK SHAMPOO and shit. You know what I'm saying? The sort of movie where in between laughs and/or explosions tits appear on screen for no good reason. A prime example is TRADING PLACES. That movie flashes tits for no other reason then because. Just BECAUSE. Because is a great fuckin' reason for tits, ya know? Anyhow, I am running out of time for todays "Welcome To ..." blog. In conclusion allow me to just say thank you to all my new Israelite friends and FUCK THE PALESTINIENS! (at least until some fuckin' Palestine types start to frequent this site. Then I'm sure I'll welcome them too. I'm a whore for the page view).