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Saturday, September 29, 2012

SHADY GREG EATS ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VIAGRA ON DARE- WIFE, BOTH DOGS AND NEIGHBORS CAT ALL NOW LIVING IN WOODS!

Yes, the weird, bizarre and downright disgusting saga of Shady Greg continues to worsen on an almost daily basis. Shady Greg, formerly the dick less wonder, successfully underwent a cock transplant ( sort of successfully. The drugged up Witch Doctor actually transplanted a Rooster above the Shady One's balls. So he now has a feather less "Cock". The rooster was dead during the transplant, only to be resurrected afterward. So Shady Greg actually has a feather less Zombie Cock for a cock). Anyhow, Shady's Zombie Cock "wakes up" at dawn, "Crows" (I am trying not to be gross) and then curls up for slumber until the next dawn. So in Shady"s pants every morning is a true Dawn of the Dead! (sorry. couldn't resist.) Most people are not looking for sex at six in the morning; so needless to say, Greg's new cock had not seen any real duty (I say real duty because the Shady One had taken it for a test run himself. A test run when Greg had truly Choked the Chicken! [real sorry. couldn't resist.]). Anyhow, because Greg couldn't get any action at six in the morning, he went to see his doctor (Doctor Muzambo The Zambian Witch Doctor) to get some advice. Doctor  Muzambo had a head to shrink and couldn't be bothered so to rid himself of Shady he told him to eat some Viagra and see what happens. Shady took this as a dare. "Eat some Viagra. SOME! Well I'll show him. I'll eat a whole lot of Viagra!" So the idiot Shady went home and got out his Polygamist sized bottle of Viagra ( Shady got Viagra after seeing a commercial of a man and woman playing in the yard and thought to himself-Hey I should order me some of those pills because I have always wanted to learn how to throw a football-Shady is an idiot). Shady dumped six pills into his hand, popped them in his mouth and chewed. "Tastes like dick" he thought to himself and popped another six into his mouth. Shady wound up swallowing 27 Viagra over the course of roughly five minutes. Shady felt slightly more alert but nothing else. "These pills are a rip off!" the Shady One thought until he realized his cock was in big can of corn and he was pumping furiously.  Minutes later Greg had straddled a Swanson frozen game hen, box of stuffing in his hand, humping hard and screaming "Whose your daddy, BITCH!?! WHOSE YOUR FUCKING DADDY?". By the end of an hour Shady Sex Maniac Greg had destroyed dinner, fucked a gravy boat, screwed a pop up barnyard book and permanently soiled not one but two Ducks Unlimited down jackets. And that is just the beginning of Greg's ORGY O' MADNESS. I would love to tell you all the rest of it, but having recently sold the rights to this, I guess you'll just have to wait for the movie. (we are hoping to sign Meryl Streep to play Shady and the Octo-mom to play his cock).

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