Friday, June 15, 2012
COWBOY JOHN AND HIS LASSO OF TRUTH!
Cowboy John, who constantly reminds us that he is going "cowboy" by saying things like "My nickname should be pendulum for all the swinging I'm doing!", has now added a lasso to his accessory list. He calls it his Lasso o' Truth (Yes. We did tell him that is very Wonder Woman- ish. However, up until 3 days ago he was called Gay Deep Throat Massage Sucks A Lot Jonnie the Human Porta Potty John. So he didn't really care. Besides, he wears vintage 1972 Mark Spitz aqua blue Speedo's everyday with thigh high red Wonder Woman boots. I think the lasso is just the next step on his personal path of evolution and self-discovery. Also, I am really starting to think that he is a bigger flame than the Olympic Torch. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Please, no hate mail. Anyhow, The Lasso O' Truth is supposed to bring out the best in each associate and help us to be honest with customers and increase our sales per hour by some convoluted system Cowboy came up with. The funny thing was yesterday when Cowboy John "truth lassoed" Shady Greg and the Lasso O' Truth (really just a piece of cheap gold colored twine) immediately caught fire and began to smoke while The Shady One's eyes bugged out and he began barking "Truth sucks Wang! Truth sucks Wang!" (Wang being Shady's Chinese opium dealer who lies a lot). I don't think the Lasso O' Truth will last much longer.