ROBOTS ARE NOT GREAT LOVERS

   Zerks did not enjoy making love to his robot. Don't misunderstand, the robot was a great robot, just not a great lover. It lubed up nicely but that was about it. He hated the fact that the robot faked EVERY orgasm, not just once in a while. He hated the fact that the robot was not one of those sleek new models. Zerks  robot was rather rotund around the middle and clanked all about the place. He hated that the robot was constantly beeping with stupid little lights flashing. Zerks never found beeping little lights romantic in the least. He hated that he and the robot did not have much in common other than they both loved computers. To be clear, Zerks loved having a computer, the robot was literally in love with a computer ( the robot had even snuck away with a computer for a private weekend later telling Zerks the computer meant nothing to him.) But the biggest problem, by far, was that the robot would not even try Zerks homemade lasagna. That was simply too insulting. Like motor oil could ever beat homemade lasgna.